Things a Pirate Would do at Disney

what would a pirate do

Lots of pirates-in-training and kids in pirate costumes visit the Disney parks, but what if one of the real rogues – Jack Sparrow or one of his comrades – made a trip to Walt Disney World?

Picture, if you will, our buccaneer staggering off the Magical Express bus. He’ll probably try to commandeer a vessel to get him across the Seven Seas Lagoon. Assuming our Cap’n makes it through the security line (he’ll have to leave his cutlass behind) and into the Magic Kingdom, he’ll probably avoid Fantasyland, especially Ariel’s Grotto and the Journey of the Little Mermaid ride. He’d be afraid Ariel would eat him.

But our corsair would feel perfectly at home in Adventureland, where he can join his fellow devils and black sheep and really bad eggs on the Pirates of the Caribbean attraction, stop in the Pirates League for a disheveled and dashing makeover, get some grub at Tortuga Tavern, and plunder all the loot in the gift shop.

When it comes to accommodation, I can easily imagine our pirate using his ill-gotten gains to book himself the most plush and nautical suite at the Yacht Club Resort. He’d invite his crew for a few rounds of rum and few verses of “Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate’s Life for Me.” Mousekeeping would not be happy about cleaning that one up.

There’s also Caribbean Beach Resort, where the Fuentes Del Morro pool looks exactly like the kind of Spanish fort a pirate would love to lay siege to, and the rooms are a marauder’s paradise, complete with headboards that look like ship’s masts.

I’m sure our pirate would love to get the Jolly Roger flying over Cinderella’s Castle, but the Fairy Godmother would put a stop to that! What do you imagine a pirate would do at Disney?

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